Sarah in Neverland: The laws of Property Improvement (™)

fredag 4. juli 2008

The laws of Property Improvement (™)

1. Your place of residence can always and must always be improved in some way. Never be satisfied with what you have.

2. If you're feeling blue, if you're feeling empty and like your life has no meaning, do not fear - salvation is near: just redecorate!

3. If your neighbour redecorates, so must you.

3.1. Remember to always wait until your neighbour is done redecorating, before you start your own project, so as to lengthen the period in which your other neighbours will be bothered by noise pollution. Maybe even wait a day, to let people remember what quiet sounds like, so they remember what they're missing.

4. Develop a sixth sense about when the worst possible time for you to start drilling is, for anyone else who can hear it, and then start drilling.

4.1. Lull your neighbours into a false sense of security by being quiet for several hours, and then start drilling or hammering as soon as their head hits the pillow, or better yet, just as they are about to drift off to sleep.

4.2. Start making loud noises as early in the morning as possible. This law is particularly important to follow if you know that any of your neighbours have been up late and/or drinking alcohol.

5. Once you're done with one project, realise that (for instance) your walls no longer go with your new floor, and start a new project. Repeat until death or dementia.
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Now, for a deeper and quasi philosophical exploration of the themes in this text. Is it that we are constantly moving to new places, no longer able to settle down anywhere, that makes us redecorate? Are we always moving into new homes? Are we too concerned with what is new and what is in, and what everybody else has? Do we want to show of our wealth? Does it really have anything to do with comfort or convenience? Are we trying to fill a void in our lives, trying to convince ourselves that happiness can be bought? Are we hoping to improve ourselves by improving our homes? Are we trying to increase the value of our property? Are things just not built to last these days and need to be replaced too quickly? Have we regressed to some sort of caveman stage, where we can no longer speak to the people around us, and this constant noise making is a desperate last ditch attempt to create some sort of bond or connection with the people surrounding us?

As for the main theme of the above text, it is obvious: The author is tired and her neighbours are being noisy.

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Books

Currently reading:

* Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. The (true) story of a womans search for happiness and balance in her life, travelling through Italy, India and Indonesia. Good read so far (though be prepared to be hungry for pizza when you read the Italy section).

*The Liar, by Stephen Fry. Not as interesting as previous reads by Fry, but I believe it also has something to do with my personal taste. Still he remains a good and funny writer.

(Some) books I've read:

* The Twilight series, by Stephanie Meyer. Which I unapologetically love. Yes, the writing is sometimes sentimental and manipulative, but I fell in love with the characters and the story, and after I finished the last book I felt sad and empty for a while, because there was no more left. And no, I am not interested in your criticisms.

(There's a gap here, in which I can't currently remember what I read. I may come back to it.)

* The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd. A recommendation from my best friend, who was reading it while visiting. A touching story of a girl who runs away from home, and what she learns about life and her own past. A lot of love here.

* How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, by Toby Young. It has such a good title, and then it turns out to be so boring, uninteresting and pretentious. Ah well, they can't all be good.

* The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul, by Douglas Adams. Adams remains a very clever and funny writer, whose descriptions of objects both animate and inanimate continue to surprise and delight me. Very enjoyable, but definitely not as strong as the Hitchhiker books.

* Making History, by Stephen Fry. A very interesting story indeed, about what could potentially happen if we went back in time somehow to change history. Entertaining, well written and thought provoking. It's so nice to read a book that you genuinely have trouble putting down.

* Moab is my Washpot, by Stephen Fry. A funny and well written autobiography of an interesting man.

* Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. The story of the wicked witch of the west, from The Wizard of Oz, and how she came to be 'wicked'. An interesting idea, and some good storytelling, though it didn't completely capture me.

* Completely Unexpected Tales, by Roald Dahl. A collection of Dahl's delightfully macabre tales. Very entertaining and well written.

* Stardust, by Neil Gaiman. An enjoyable little story of fantasy and fairytale, but I must admit I liked the movie a wee bit better. Then again, I did see the movie first.

* Pepe & Poppy, by Joe Novella (of the Joe Novella blog, linked above on this page). A sweet and funny story about two young people in love, and the complications of coming from different backgrounds.

* Muleum, by Erlend Loe. Nice and unusually serious, about the loss of loved ones and the wish to die, from this mostly hilarious author.

* 11 minutes, by Paulo Coelho. Still not quite sure what to think about this author. The story is good, and sometimes very well written, but at other times I feel like Coelho loses his grip.

Moving to the Netherlands: checklist.

Before you leave your current country of residence, be sure to make the change of address there as well. Registering you as a resident of the Netherlands will not automatically 'unregister' you as a resident of the country you previously lived in. Make sure that your new address is known to any important instances so you avoid getting bills you knew nothing about to your old address. It's probably good to look into forwarding your mail to your new address. I registered for that service with the post office in Norway before I left.
Obviously you'll need a valid passport
If you're importing any goods (books, furniture, what have you), be prepared to fill in a lot of paperwork before you get your things back. My stuff went through a shipping company that doesn't usually handle goods like that, and maybe it's less complex if you do it via other channels. I also suspect it's easier if you're travelling from another EU country (free movement of goods). I needed to have a photo copy of my passport, a signed list of contents x 2, an approximate value of said items, a BSN or in lieu of that a confirmation that I had been registered as a resident of Amsterdam (you'll need to make an appointment for that, so be sure to call the gemeente where you'll be living ASAP), proof of living at my current address (lease or similar) and proof of income (in my case this meant that Boyfriend wrote a letter promising to support me financially until I got a job, in other cases you may need bank statements, payment slips, job contract or something like this). In addition to this I also had to fill out a form with various information about where you're moving to and from, and why, a form that is only available in Dutch. You can find more information about this here: http://www.douane.nl/particulier/verhuisboedels/en/. All these papers then needed to be sent to an office for the douane (customs) in Rotterdam at the Linatebaan (this applies for moving to Amsterdam, for moving to other areas of the Netherlands you may need to send your documents to a different douane office), and only when they were read and returned we could pick up my stuff. Of course if you're willing to pay taxes on the goods you're importing, then you don't need to do all this.
When you make an appointment with the gemeente (for instance http://amsterdam.nl), you will need to have your passport, a copy of your birth certificate in English with an apostille (should be available from your local authorities in the country you're moving from), a lease, and proof of income (or in lieu of that, the proof of income of whoever is providing for you, and in that case their passport as well). 5 days after your appointment at the gemeente you will be registered in the system, and you should recieve your BSN shortly after that.
BSN: a number of identification that recognises you in the system, like a social security number. You will need this in order to work in the Netherlands, and in order to get a bank account. According to Boyfriend the easiest bank to register with is the postbank.nl.
Basic health insurance is mandatory for anyone living in the Netherlands. In theory any insurance company has to take you on as a customer if you apply with them, but I'm currently not sure if this also applies to foreigners. I haven't got my health insurance yet, so I'll try to update this section once I know more.
Looking for a job: If you don't speak much/any Dutch, there is a website for people like us who are looking for jobs here in the Netherlands - http://www.undutchables.nl. If you do speak Dutch, you might try monsterboard.nl.
If you're moving from a country outside of Europe there may be additional steps for you to take that I am currently unaware of.

Sarah in Neverland

fredag 4. juli 2008

The laws of Property Improvement (™)

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Moving to the Netherlands: checklist.